My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl

My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl

When I was small, I used to read Roald Dahl’s BFG, Matilda, Charlie and the chocolate factory etc. I never know that Roald Dahl write adult series too. He is really good and is still one of my most favourite authors. It is an enjoyment to read a book by Roald Dahl.

My Uncle Oswald is an adult novel, it is kind of soft porn.

Oswald discovers the world’s most powerful aphrodisiac and with the aid of a female accomplice they place the aphrodisiac inside chocolate truffles. By this means, the accomplice seduces the world’s most famous men, with the intent of selling their semen to women wishing to be impregnated by them. (The semen is collected via condoms.) Whether the famous men are elderly, celibate, wheelchair bound or prefers buggering boys the Blister Beetle has them all distracted and smiling like Enzyte Bob.  Within a matter of months, the sperm bank is built.

The book talked about blister beetles (Sudanese Blister Beetle) which contains a toxin called cantharidin, which was believed to be an aphrodisiac because its chemical properties when released into the body would affect the entire urinary tract of the victim and through irritation of the urethra would cause priapism–the persistent and abnormal erection of the penis.

Some extracts from the book are :

Women in general, and by that I mean all women everywhere, go absolutely dotty about tiny men. Tiny men refers to genuine dwarfs. Believe it or not, any one of these little fellows can, if he puts his mind to it, drive even the most frigid woman to distraction.  They are repulsive but irresistible.

I think it was old Geoffrey Claucer way back in the 14th century who wrote : Ladies with titles will go for your vitals ,and those immortal words are engraved upon my heart.

There is no evidence whatsoever that great writers beget great writers. Occasionally they beget minor writers, but that’s as far as it goes. There is slightly more evidence that great painters begets great painters.

I think the best part is at the end when Yasmin and Arthur got married and escaped with all the sperms leaving behind only Proust’s sperms for Uncle Oswald


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s